(FYI - I'm putting this post on both of my blogs this week, since it applies to both.)
This week marks 7 years since my health collapsed. 7 years of feeling like my life is on hold. 7 years of learning, changing, healing. 7 years of a strange journey I never would have chosen.
In some ways it feels like I've been in a time warp, stuck at age 25, while the rest of the world moves on. In other ways, I feel like I've aged 15 years, not 7.
Most of my friends are now married with 2 or 3 kids, serving on the mission-field or active in ministry somewhere. They're living the kind of life I always expected to live.
I confess, sometimes I feel impatient with God. Other people with health challenges similar to mine have gotten well in a matter of months. Why must my healing process take so long?
Then I think of my friends Sam & Nathan (twins). They recently turned 37. They've been living with Environmental Illness for almost 20 years. They didn't get to finish high school, never even got their driver's licenses. They've missed out on so many "normal" things in life. They've been enduring and persevering through their illness, day by day, for close to 20 years.
When I think about them, I sometimes get more upset with God than I do over my own situation. What is He thinking? What kind of life is that for my dear friends?
As always, my heavenly Father is faithful to gently rebuke my wrong thinking and remind me of His truth.
- "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." -Psalm 139:16b
- "LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup...." -Psalm 16:5a
- "You are good, and what you do is good...." -Psalm 119:68a
- "Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them...When Peter saw him, he asked, 'Lord, what about him?'
Jesus answered, 'If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.'” -John 21:20-22
God's plan for each of us is different, but His call is the same - to follow. Wherever our Shepherd leads us....
Is God's plan for my friends in missionary service good?
Is God's plan for my friends Sam & Nathan good?
By faith, I believe it is.
Is God's plan for me good?
How could I doubt it.
I know my 7 years have not been wasted. I know God is working out His perfect plan for me.
And I've learned that it's not the passing of time or my circumstances that matter most - but rather finding joy in the fellowship of my Savior, one day at a time.
"Surely you have granted [me] eternal blessings and made [me] glad with the joy of your presence." -Psalm 21:6